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I’m not this girl - I’m not this person, y’all.
This morning, I prayed this crazy, huge very specific prayer over my life. I rarely pray so specifically because, well, I don’t want to be disappointed when God doesn’t deliver.
What if He has other plans in mind? Shouldn’t I be praying generally and then let Him do His thing?
This morning, as I was reading through scripture, this specific Thing felt was pressing heavily on my heart. It was as if I needed to ask for it. I have no roadmap for this, y’all, but first I checked the motives behind my desire. Is this for God or for me? And my heart broke in two thinking of needs that would be met from this circumstance. Yes, I want this for God’s glory. For grace. For freedom.
So I prayed. Out loud, by myself, like a crazy person, in my living room.
Nothing magical or miraculous happened, of course. This is a prayer that is for the long haul - not an “answer this today or tomorrow” type of thing. But, I felt God take this burden. I physically felt my heart lift and center back onto the Lord. Am I confident that He will give me this Thing I’ve asked for? I’m confident He can. I’m confident He will give me the desires of my heart when I’m chasing after Him, but maybe He’ll change my desires. I have know idea.
But I do know that my dreams, my desires, my calling are all safe in the hands of God and His sovereignty. I know that He is after His own glory and wants to use you and me for that purpose, and gosh that is such a freakin’ honor. I know this totally might sound dumb, but praying this specifically is scary because it gives God so much room to “let me down”, but friend. He won’t. I know He won’t.
And He won’t let you down either.
Why are we so hesitant to ask for exactly what we want? It feels selfish, doesn't it? Like we know what we should have over God? But I don't believe that has to be the case. We see over and over in scripture where God's servants ask specifically for something - for favor, for help, for success, for wisdom, for a miracle. When it's in line with God's Word and when it's on your heart, why NOT ask for it?
There is so much I can say here about His timing, His plan, His will - but I won’t. I’m just going to leave it at this : God loves you, and He tells us to come to Him. Come to Him with our desires, our hopes, our fears, our plans, our dreams, our outcries. Do that today. Pray. Ask. Seek. Lay down. Hope. Dream. Let God have it ALL, not just the medium sized stuff, or even just the stuff that’s out of your control. But ALL of it.
“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of god, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.” James 1:5, 6
Ask of God and then believe, even in your unbelief.
This is not a prosperity prayer - this is understanding that God can do absolutely anything and everything - for and in YOU. Miracles and parting waters and opening doors for YOU. And when we ask for it instead of hope and wish and think about it, we get to credit it solely and wholly to the Lord of Lords and King of Kings that made it happen!
So right now, let's do this. Lay it down and believe. Whatever it is that you think is too big, too great, to specific.... let's start praying over it. Day after day after day. And let's see what God does!